Parents should not avoid separation only for the sake of their children

     Children do not need married parents; they need happy and healthy parents.

     Many parents always think that separation is awfully hurtful to children and they stay in an unhappy marriage as a result. They are afraid that their children might be rebellious if they separate or maybe they would not want their selves and their children to be put in embarrassment. There is no doubt that children benefit from living with parents with good marriage. They feel safe and secure. They learn to create a good marriage and shape mature relationships. They do not have to deal with the complications and trauma that come with the separation. “Studies reveal that children who are raised in a two person, loving, and stable environment show less signs of depression, anxiety and defiant behavior and do better in school” (Ezine Articles).

     However, this is not necessary the best thing for children. I, myself is a product of separated parents and I know what it is like to have parents stay in a marriage just for the sake of their children. We, children are very sensitive and we can sense if there are problems. Of course, there is no child that would want his/her parents to be separated but we are more hurt of constant fighting, poor relationship and unhappy parents than a separation. “Children raised in a stressful and conflicted environment are more stressed, have more defiant behavior, and have more disciplinary problems” (Ezine Articles).

     Just having two parents is not enough, good parents with a good marriage are more important. Separation is traumatic on everyone, especially on children, and should be avoided if possible. However, a separation is not always destructive. Fighting, arguing, putting the children in the middle, lack of communication and lack of respect by one of the parents towards the other are the more destructive part when parents stay in an unhappy marriage. Children of separated parents can do great if these things are avoided. “Studies also have shown that children do better when their parents get divorced, in comparison to their parents living together in a continuous state of conflict, instability, and uncertainty” (Ezine Articles).

     Parents who stay in their marriage but get to the point where their unhappiness is already visible and can not get along anymore no matter how they compromise might as well separate. If these situations occur, they will not only bring anger and depression to their selves but also to their children.

     The answer to the question “should parents avoid separation at all costs for the sake of their children” is not simple but as parents, it is your job to make sure that your children grow up healthy as possible. Simply staying together does not always do well for your children. Depending on your situation, your children may actually be better if you just separate. They may suffer, but in due time they will overcome it.