Parents should not avoid separation only for the sake of their children

     Children do not need married parents; they need happy and healthy parents.

     Many parents always think that separation is awfully hurtful to children and they stay in an unhappy marriage as a result. They are afraid that their children might be rebellious if they separate or maybe they would not want their selves and their children to be put in embarrassment. There is no doubt that children benefit from living with parents with good marriage. They feel safe and secure. They learn to create a good marriage and shape mature relationships. They do not have to deal with the complications and trauma that come with the separation. “Studies reveal that children who are raised in a two person, loving, and stable environment show less signs of depression, anxiety and defiant behavior and do better in school” (Ezine Articles).

     However, this is not necessary the best thing for children. I, myself is a product of separated parents and I know what it is like to have parents stay in a marriage just for the sake of their children. We, children are very sensitive and we can sense if there are problems. Of course, there is no child that would want his/her parents to be separated but we are more hurt of constant fighting, poor relationship and unhappy parents than a separation. “Children raised in a stressful and conflicted environment are more stressed, have more defiant behavior, and have more disciplinary problems” (Ezine Articles).

     Just having two parents is not enough, good parents with a good marriage are more important. Separation is traumatic on everyone, especially on children, and should be avoided if possible. However, a separation is not always destructive. Fighting, arguing, putting the children in the middle, lack of communication and lack of respect by one of the parents towards the other are the more destructive part when parents stay in an unhappy marriage. Children of separated parents can do great if these things are avoided. “Studies also have shown that children do better when their parents get divorced, in comparison to their parents living together in a continuous state of conflict, instability, and uncertainty” (Ezine Articles).

     Parents who stay in their marriage but get to the point where their unhappiness is already visible and can not get along anymore no matter how they compromise might as well separate. If these situations occur, they will not only bring anger and depression to their selves but also to their children.

     The answer to the question “should parents avoid separation at all costs for the sake of their children” is not simple but as parents, it is your job to make sure that your children grow up healthy as possible. Simply staying together does not always do well for your children. Depending on your situation, your children may actually be better if you just separate. They may suffer, but in due time they will overcome it.

Pre-marital sex is not a sin

     “There is absolutely nothing in the bible forbidding premarital sex. It is one of the traditions that are man made to control people” (Liberated Christians).

     Pre-marital sex, as what our parents, teachers and religious liberals have taught us, it is a union of one flesh between a man and woman before marriage. It is mostly sex without commitment. Traditionally, we were educated that it is intrinsically evil and should be avoided since it is against the natural law which reserves the sexual act to marriage.

     Most religious liberals consider pre-marital sex as sinful. According to them (What does the bible say about sex and lust), “there are different terms in the bible that describe pre-marital sex as a sin. One way is the term fornication”. Fornication, as the dictionary defines it, is a sexual intercourse between a man and woman who are not married to each other. They say that the degree of evil depend very much on the involvement of the man and woman. It is often a sort of exploration and rather irresponsible playing of sex without real commitment. Hence, the sexual act is reserved only to committed relationships.

     Teenage years is also a point in time when person seek intimacy or in their wanting to discover themselves get involve in pre-marital sex. These are the ones who felt unloved by their own family, who are insecure about their personalities, grew up with no father and the ones who do it as an act of rebellion.

     The study also says that (Pre-marital sex high among Filipino youth, 2007) close to 4 million youngsters are engaging to pre-marital sex aged 15-24 with 30% of the respondents doing it in their own homes while 18% were doing it inside motels and hotels. We grew up with an awareness that a sexual activity before marriage should be avoided because it may lead to a girl becoming pregnant, and to the problems which will follow.

     Yet, my head was bugged when I heard my Moral Theology professor discussed about pre-marital sex as not a sin. He said that on the other hand, a problem is different for a young man and woman who already have a long relationship, are committed to one another, but can not yet marry because of circumstances like studies, finances, family, etc.

    “Some theologians”, he said, “use the term pre-nuptial sex when the sexual act is one-flesh union between a man and woman, who have through time proven their commitment of enduring and public responsibility to each other. In this manner, pre-marital sex is morally justified.

    In matters like pre-marital sex, we can not just condemn the persons involved because everyone says that it is a sin or the bible says it is evil. We should be intelligent enough to discern how to judge the act; what are their motivations, reasons behind it and the circumstances in which the act was done.

UP Student who maltreated kitten Posts Bail

     “It pays to be kind to animals”, Chito Chavez noted. But are we really aware of animal rights?

     Just last year, a UP National Institute of Physics (NIP) student was charged of killing a kitten in their school campus. On April 15, 2010, Anna Nieves Hasmin-Cabrera, the program director of Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) had filed a complaint after reports that Joseph Carlo Candare allegedly admitted in his blog of torturing the cat. Chavez noted that Candare admitted to “killing the cat by pulling on its tail, throwing and jumping on the cat’s torso” and planning to kill another one in the coming days.

     What made this UP student torture such fragile kitten? Is he not aware of animal rights knowing that he is studying in a state university where students are expected to be intelligent and well-educated? What on earth have hit him to maltreat the cat in a very pitiless way?

     On September 23, a warrant of arrest was issued to Candare but he had posted bail last November 9 for his temporary liberty.

     Why is the case not closed yet? Were the witnesses’ affidavits not enough to be competent and reliable evidence? Does it really need to have photos of the dead cat to prove that the cat died indeed when the respondent himself already admitted to his own blog and submitted a letter of apology to NIP director admitting that he tortured the cat and eventually killing it?

     We, people should always think of the consequences of our act before regretting it. We should not only be aware of our rights but also of the rights of animals. Indeed, it pays to be kind to animals.